Now if we were together, I’d actually kind of go around the room and let you all say their name out loud because they’re so important.

So I like to ask people, what was it that made them different? Usually, I hear the same stuff. They were purposeful. They pursued a relationship with me. They were a safe place. They believed in me. They told me something I didn’t know about myself. It’s always so much fun to talk about.

Who Is A Small Group Leader?

What if we could recruit an army of these type of people who would become this type of adult to these kids and students on purpose?

And that’s what we’re talking about when we talk about small group ministry in family ministry.

It’s about community, sure. It’s about the small group, yep. But mostly it’s about giving leaders a small enough group that they can invest in the lives of those few in the way that we’re talking about here.

We want to give them the ability to lead small.

The hard part has always been describing what we want them (the small group leaders) to do.

I never had a job description for this type of leader or person, who is really a major character in the story of a kid or student’s faith.

I used to recruit people, and I used the word like all the time.

 You’re like a parent, but not quite.

You’re like a teacher, but not quite.

You’re like a friend, but not quite.

You’re like a coach, but . . . you get it.

And I hated it because I think this is the most important job in the world.

I think this sort of person has the potential to change the world, at least for this group of kids or students. And I think that this type of person deserves more than to be told what they’re like. And I think they need to be told exactly what they are.

So with that began the long journey of creating the book Lead Small. Lead Small is a job description for this type of person. This is what we call a small group leader here at Orange.

The Five Essential Values of a Small Group Leader

So here’s what I did. I looked around our ministries and found the people who were doing the job best. These were our best small group leaders, and I asked them to come to one of several group dinners.

And once I got them there, I simply asked one question, and they would discuss it. I asked, what would you tell a new small group leader who was just starting? And then they would talk for a couple of hours. Well, after about four or five of these dinners, I started to notice a pattern in my notes.

I started to see five clear themes emerging. And this became the outline for Lead Small and the job description for a small group leader.

Be Present

So here’s what we found. The first thing we found was this idea of being present.

It’s the most important aspect of being a small group leader. You’ve got to show up. It’s the number one spiritual gift, the spiritual gift of showing up.

And you don’t just show up.

You show up predictably, you show up mentally, and you show up randomly.

You show up predictably in that you show up regularly and they know you’re going to be there.

You show up mentally when you’re prepared to talk when you get there

And you show up randomly, meaning you jump into the lives of kids or students in some way unexpected.

But when you’re present and when you show up, you connect their faith to a community.

The second big idea we found was this idea of creating a safe place.

Create A Safe Place

Now, this had three parts that are really important.

They were leaders, and they led the group. They were in charge. Though it was fun, there were lots of hugs and all kinds of stuff, they were in charge and they led the group forward.

The other part was they respected the process. They understood that a kid’s faith is a complicated thing, and as they grow through their phases, it’s a process.

And the last thing they did was they guarded the heart. They made sure kids weren’t picked on. They listened carefully to what was going on in their life, and they guarded the heart.

So when you create a safe place, you give them a place to clarify their faith as they grow. Now, the next idea we found was this idea of partnering with parents.

Partner With Parents

Every great small group leader partners with parents. There were three big ideas on that.

One is they cue the parent. They let the parent know what they’re talking about so the parents can connect to what was going on in small group that day.

Nex, they honor the parent. For instance, I don’t know if you know this, but teenagers often have trouble with their parents, and small group leaders were always great about listening, but at the end of the day, they would honor the parent and point their kids back to those parents.

Finally, they would always reinforce the family. The family is going to be the number one spiritual impact in a kid’s life, and so they would reinforce the family.

The best part is when you partner with parents, you help nurture kids and students with an everyday faith. The next thing we found was the idea of making it personal.

Make It Personal

This was great because the best small group leaders made it personal.

First of all, they had their own community. They lived in community! They had their own small groups, and they were taking care of their own faith. They would never skip a wedding to do small group, but they’d come back and talk about it sort of stuff with the kids, and they’d set those priorities right.

The last thing is they were real. They were authentic. They were themselves. When you try to be something else in order to impact a kid, they’re going to find out pretty quickly that you’re not who you said you were, and that’s the wrong thing. These people were just who they were, and as they showed up, they gained influence with the kids, and it was super amazing.

When you make it personal, you get to inspire their faith by your example.

Move Them Out

Finally, the last big idea we found, and this is a big one, was the idea of moving them out. In fact, we found that many of these small group leaders weren’t the only adults in these kids’ life.

They had invited other adults in, so they moved them to someone else.

They also moved them to be the church. They didn’t just come to church. Eventually, they would become the church. They would start to do things as a church and as a small group together.

The last thing they would really do is think about what’s coming next. They knew that maybe at the end of fifth grade, as they headed to middle school, or maybe at the end of eighth grade, as they headed to high school, that they had to introduce them to someone who would be next, and they prioritized that.

When you move them out, you engage their faith in a much bigger story.

Building Your Common Vocabulary

That’s it. That’s a quick flyby of the job description of a small group leader, and I can tell you it works.

After handing this out to every small group leader during their orientation, something amazing started to happen. We became more than a ministry. We became a community of small group leaders. We had a common goal.

We had a common vocabulary for what we were trying to do, and we began to share best practices. We began to encourage each other. We began to support each other in ways I never could have imagined.

Lead Small not only helped me do my job, it helped my ministry for the better, from the inside out, and I hope it does the same for you.

The post What’s A Small Group Leader? appeared first on Think Orange.

This is why, after sixteen years (and counting) of student ministry, I’ve come to learn that strategically inviting an outside voice to your event can be one of the most beautiful and freeing decisions you can make. I hope you noticed the word “strategically”. (I mean, it is in italics!) Allowing others to communicate on the main stage allows me to create a capacity that our students need from me and open doors for growth in our student ministry.

However, inviting an outside voice is not as simple as it may sound. A lot of factors play into your decision . . . 

The budget of the speaker (or lack thereof)
Coordinating message talks
Logistics 

The list goes on.

So, how do you be strategic and leverage an outside speaker effectively? 

5 Things to Consider 

I would love to share five things to consider when bringing in an outside communicator for an event. These are all lessons I have learned the hard way as a young youth worker and wish someone would have told me before I began this process.

1. Do your homework on the communicator.

You may have budget allocated for communicators, and you want to bring in someone dynamic and maybe even a “well-known” name. So, you do what every great student pastor does, you open Google and type in, “Great student ministry speakers.” To be honest, it may work out, but you are potentially running the risk of bringing in a communicator that doesn’t work best for your students or situation. When looking for an outside communicator, always ask where the last two or three places they communicated were. This is a great opportunity to connect with those youth workers and ask them how that may have gone with the potential communicator. 

Here are some starter questions that can help you get started when doing your homework:

• How well did the communicator connect with your students? (If they didn’t hang out or attempt to connect, that could be a red flag.)
• During your event, did the communicator seem prepared? 
• What was your experience working with the communicator leading up to your event?
• Would you bring back this communicator to speak to your students? 

These four questions will allow you to gauge whether this person is going to be a great fit and what you are looking for when it comes to your retreat. In my experience, the bigger name doesn’t mean the better fit. For those who don’t have a budget, bringing in outside voices for a retreat requires the same due diligence. Students are worth it.

2. Give your communicator as much context as possible.

If you have found an outside communicator that you believe would be a good fit for your upcoming ministry retreat, it’s always helpful to come prepared when you start to connect and plan for the main session talks. You want this to be a win for your ministry, you, and the communicator. The first step is to paint a realistic picture of what your student ministry is experiencing. A few things to keep in mind when sharing:

• Share the Struggle: A wise communicator will want to know what is happening in your ministry. Be honest. You may be tempted to exaggerate how amazing your ministry is, but it’s important to share the hard stuff. What are students struggling with right now? Is there an overwhelming feeling of anxiety, depression, or broken families happening in your student ministry? Do you feel like you don’t have much momentum? Are you tired as a youth worker? Trust and allow the outside communicator to come alongside you and help shoulder the burden. Ministry is hard, and you can’t do it alone. 
• Share the Good! Don’t feel like you need to only share the hard things but also share the amazing things God is doing in your ministry! 
• Share the In-between: Share the dynamics of your student ministry. How many athletes do you have in your ministry? How many homeschooled students? What’s the economic makeup of your student ministry? Are there more girls than guys? Try to give a clear picture of what your communicator is stepping into.

Giving your communicator as much context as possible will allow him/her to prepare in a way that can connect with your students. Maybe there is an illustration that would connect better if the communicator knew the context. In some environments, a Taylor Swift or Beyoncé illustration may be great, but in others, you may get blank stares. Transparency will always help you when inviting your communicator into your space. 

3. Clear is kind.

Clarity creates better connection. If you have a theme for the event, don’t feel like you have to default to the communicator’s ideas. Trust that the Lord has placed you as the best youth worker for your students. More often than not, a good communicator will want to hear your direction for the retreat and join you in making the large group talks as impactful as they can be. Fight the urge to say, “Whatever you want to do.” Now, there is collaboration, but be confident when steering the ship. Share the vision of how you would love each session to land. One of the best reasons to bring in outside voices is for students to hear the direction we are going but from a different voice. Not a different vision, a different voice. Trust your leadership. Nobody knows your students better than you do!

4. Give your communicator clear deadlines and follow up.

Once you have given clear direction, make sure that you have communicated clear deadlines. “Whenever” is not helpful for an outside communicator. The rule of thumb that I have found best is to ask for 90 percent of the communicator’s talk with only 10 percent of the time left until the event. Is your event happening in 100 days? Then a good deadline for 90% of large group talks is ten days before your event. This will allow you to ask questions and better prepare your leaders. After you set deadlines, here comes the hardest part: trust. Trust that the Holy Spirit is working through that communicator. This can be one of the hardest parts of bringing in an outside voice. Clear deadlines protect you and honor the time of the speaker. The reason why I say 90% is because illustrations change… daily. Allow room for the talk to adapt to what God may be doing leading up to the event. 

5. Honor your communicator at the event.

I say this with love and understanding. An honorarium is not the only way to honor your outside communicator. Yes, these speakers typically get paid, but if there is anyone who knows how hard it is to write four to five different talks while balancing real life, it’s you. One thing that I desire and pray for is that every outside communicator would leave our student ministry retreat refreshed, honored, and excited that they came to our event. You don’t have to go crazy. What are some small things that you can do to encourage and honor your communicator while they are at your retreat? What’s their favorite drink? Are they leaving a family behind to spend three days with your students? If so, maybe you can swing buying a DoorDash gift card for their family? Are you providing a private space for them to recharge while they are at your event?

The question to consistently ask is, “If I were an outside communicator, in what ways could I be encouraged and honored?”

Another way you can honor them is to follow up after the event. Share what God has done and how they played a vital role! Ask for feedback on how you can improve. 

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, bringing in an outside communicator is not only about making your life easier as a youth leader – it’s about doing whatever it takes to reach students’ hearts and minds with the life-changing message of Jesus. The logistics and planning may sometimes feel overwhelming but never lose sight of the big picture. Every hurdle you overcome, every late night spent preparing, every detail you meticulously organize – it’s all part of the special and challenging call to invest in the spiritual lives of young people. When you invite an outside voice, you expand the perspectives and experiences that can impact your students. You demonstrate that the truth of the Gospel extends beyond just one messenger. So, stay the course, youth worker! Let this calling rekindle your passion and refuel your perseverance. The spiritual nourishment these retreats provide to students is invaluable and eternity-impacting.

Though the work is difficult, the reward is great – playing a role in young lives being transformed by the power of the Gospel. Take heart, lean on your community of fellow youth leaders and leaders, and trust that your labor is never in vain (1 Cor 15:58). The fruit may sometimes be unseen, but it lasts forever! 

If you are looking for a free resource with everything you need to create an incredible and strategic weekend youth event, check out Weekend Retreat. 

The post 5 Things to Consider When Bringing In An Outside Communicator For Your Event appeared first on Think Orange.

But building that kind of connection isn’t always easy, is it? Especially when we know that the connections we make outside of our typical small group time are just as important as the connections we make during small group. For a lot of us, we may not have the budget that we would want to be able to take a teen to breakfast or treat our whole small group to ice cream during an outing at a local park. If we’re really being honest, while we have time to dedicate to our small group during the typical meeting time, the rest of our week is taken up by work commitments, time spent with family, and life chores that never seem to end.

How To Connect With Your Small Group During The Week

So here are some budget-friendly (and time-friendly!) suggestions to help make meaningful connections with our small groups throughout the week. 

Create Spotify Playlists

You can learn a lot about a person just by listening to all of the different styles of music they connect with the most. Encourage your small group kids and teens to create a personalized Spotify playlist of all their favorite songs (though it’s probably a pretty good idea to set some ground rules about what is and is not appropriate to put on their playlist). Of course, if your small group is made up of younger kids, you may want to enlist parents to lend a helping hand. And don’t forget to make up a playlist of your own as well! Connection is a two-way street, and the kids and teens want to get to know you just as much as you want to get to know them.

Now, be warned – not all of the music will be good. There’s actually a pretty big chance that you will not like a single song they’ve picked for their lists. But man, those songs will tell you so much. As you listen, try to think beyond just the song and look for what may be hidden underneath. Is there a particular artist that they’ve included more than others? Can you see a connection between one song and another? Use these playlists to help give you a glimpse of a side to themselves that they may not show you on a typical Sunday.

Go Retro with Snail Mail

Sometimes I think we as adults have forgotten that amazing feeling you get when you receive a piece of mail meant especially for you. I’m not talking about a bill (boo), or a generic card where you know everyone received the same exact typed message, but something that was specifically handwritten with you in mind. That letter has the ability to say so much, even before someone reads a single word. It says that someone not only thought about you, but took the time to write words down, find an envelope (who even has envelopes anymore?), buy a stamp, and put it in the mailbox just so that they could say something special to you.

Of course, I’m not saying that you should send a personalized card or letter to every single one of your small group members each week! But, I also don’t want you to wait and only send those cards or letters after a big event like a baptism or church retreat. The power of a card or letter is at its peak when it comes on a random day for absolutely no reason at all. Start small and send one or two a week, or take a long weekend to write out a batch to send out as you see fit. These are also great for continuing connections with kids or teens you haven’t seen for a while. 

Show Up to What is Important to Them

Growing up, I was never the “sporty-ist” of kids. Sure, I was on a softball team for a few years, but a future major league player I was not. Instead, what I really loved was all things musical theatre. I loved to sing, did my best to try and dance, and finally made it as a background character in a community theatre production. Of course, I knew my family was going to come to my performance…they were my ride, after all. But I can’t tell you the joy I felt when I was performing on stage and looked out to see members of my church in the audience. I may have still stumbled through the dance numbers, but I don’t think I have ever been as happy on a stage as I was then.

So many of our small group kids and teens have hobbies and skills they’d love to share with you. Some may have a baseball tournament you can attend, others a local musical they’ve won a part in, or a local art show where they’ve submitted some of their work. But showing up isn’t limited to just attending things that they DO. What about going to the movies with kids in your group who are really into a certain superhero franchise? Or walking around (and maybe even pushing the cart) in a garden center with teens who have jumped on the houseplant craze. Take the time to find out the kinds of activities or hobbies your small group kids and teens are interested in, and then do your best to show up whenever and however you can.

Connect with Their Families

What’s the real secret to finding ways to connect with our kids and teens outside of our small group time? Connecting with their families. In a world where the news cycle gives us an endless stream of negative and downright terrifying stories, it’s natural for parents and families to want to hold their kids and teens as close as possible, and maybe be a bit distrustful of adults who want to spend time with them. Instead of competing with families for influence over kids and teens, it makes so much more sense to partner with them instead. To show parents and families that we want to be teammates when it comes to connecting with their kids, and to help be another voice in their child’s life.

With families all being so different, there probably isn’t a one-size-fits-all way to connect. Some parents would appreciate a phone call introduction, while others would be happy to keep it over text. If direct communication never works out quite the way you hoped, you could also send out a monthly newsletter to all your parents, letting them know all the ways you’re working to connect with their kids. It’s also a great place to ask if there are any potential upcoming events that they would love to see you attend. If one method doesn’t work, don’t give up, just keep trying more to see what could stick. The only wrong move here would be to not reach out at all!

I hope those were some fun, simple suggestions that can help get you started! Just keep in mind that relationships are built over time. One playlist may not make you the top influencer in a child or teen’s life, but it can be one big step towards helping them see you as an adult who not only loves them but who wants to know them too. 

The post 4 Budget-Friendly Ways to Invest in Your Small Group Outside of Programming appeared first on Think Orange.

My name is Leila Giordano, and I am a high school senior from Texas. During an illness, I experienced the beautiful blessing of being surrounded and loved by so many, and I would love to share how their support greatly encouraged my journey of healing. I pray that sharing how they helped may encourage you as you support others going through their own suffering. I also hope that you will experience God’s comfort and be reminded that He is near to the brokenhearted. 

As soon as they left the synagogue, they went into Simon and Andrew’s house with James and John. Simon’s mother-in-law was lying in bed with a fever, and they told him about her at once. So he went to her, took her by the hand, and raised her up. The fever left her, and she began to serve them. -Mark 1:29-31 HCSB

When he entered Capernaum again after some days, it was reported that he was at home. So many people gathered together that there was no more room, not even in the doorway, and he was speaking the message to them. Then they came to him bringing a paralytic, carried by four men. Since they were not able to bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above where He was. And when they had broken through, they lowered the stretcher on which the paralytic was lying. Seeing their faith, Jesus told the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” -Mark 2:1-5 HCSB

I will never forget those who “lowered me through the roof” to see Jesus in the midst of my crisis. I will never forget those who told Jesus at once about my situation and, through their fervent prayers, brought me to meet with Jesus myself. I got to experience Jesus through their love- reminding me that just like His beloved lost sheep or Simon’s mother-in-law, He took me by the hand and raised me up. Today, I get to serve Him because of the faith of those who loved me enough to share Jesus with me in the midst of my deepest suffering.

In tragedy or crisis, we can so easily lose sight of Jesus. My vision was blurred through the tears that I wept and the dust that had been kicked up from what seemed like fleeting hope. I hold it so precious to me that other adults in my life recognized how dim my vision was and fought so hard for me to see Jesus instead. 

I can remember the countless nights when the pain was so heavy, and I would sit sobbing underneath the staircase of the hospital I lived in. I will never forget the nurse who would sit beside me with paintbrushes and paper, and we would paint until the pain wasn’t so intense. And when that didn’t work, she would wait beside me and make space for me to feel it all. If even that didn’t work, she would take me to my room and sit and cry with me until I fell asleep.

I will never forget the chef in the facility who baked me the most beautiful cake for my birthday because I couldn’t celebrate with my family that year. She knew I was sick and probably wouldn’t be able to eat it, but she baked it anyway.

I will never forget the adults at the beautiful church I get to call home who just sat with me as I sobbed once I came back home or continued to encourage and check in on me week after week.

Through their actions, I saw more clearly that Jesus was in it with me too. Just as these adults were willing to get down and step into the pit, I saw Jesus doing the same. In fact, I saw Him initiating and leading us all through it. I could see more clearly. Of course, it wasn’t ever perfect, but I don’t think it had to be. The light that I could see captivated me much more than the darkness did. 

Here are three things that helped me during this experience:

Physical expressions of care

Just like the cake, sometimes those who are suffering need a tangible reminder that they are not left alone in it. When crisis struck, the hugs, warm meals, and sweet treats lifted my spirits and reminded me that I was still remembered and loved.

Making space

Sometimes, when my illness felt too heavy to carry, I needed someone to acknowledge that. I can remember so many times when it helped to just be around people who made space for me to cry, for me to share, or for me to sit and think without being alone. 

Remembering Jesus

During this time in my life, an insane number of thoughts were flying around my head. I would spend so much time focusing on the immediate concerns that I would often forget that Jesus was still with me in the suffering. Those who comforted me did so by reminding me of Jesus. They reminded me of His character, love, and presence in every area of my life, even when I couldn’t feel it. 

When I was suffering, I desired comfort. I praise the Lord today for those who were kind enough to show me that comfort and ultimately point me to the Great Comforter. May your journey be filled with the comfort of Jesus as you comfort others through their own experience of tragedy.

Through stories like Leila’s, we see the power of being present and creating a safe place for students who are walking through hurt in their lives. In order to better equip ministry and small group leaders to navigate a crisis, we created our Hurt Crisis Response Kit. We’ve packed it with helpful tools and assets to support adults investing in the faith and future of students as they help students walk the road to healing.

The post A High School Student’s Personal Experience With Crisis and What Actually Helped appeared first on Think Orange.

So, on the weeks when just one student shows up, what do we do during small group?

What NOT to do when one person shows up to small group

Well first, I want to start with some suggestions of what NOT to do, all based on my own trial and error leading groups over the last few years:

1. Don’t ask all the questions verbatim.

If you have a list of discussion questions to ask, or a Small Group Leader Guide, avoid asking all the questions verbatim. There is nothing more awkward than listening to an adult read questions off of a piece of paper. And for most students, there is nothing more anxiety-inducing than feeling pressured to answer a question they don’t want to answer.

2. Don’t expect them to talk the whole time.

Depending on the student who has showed up, don’t expect them to answer everything you ask or carry on a long conversation. While some students can talk for hours, some are just not wired like that.

3. Don’t communicate your frustration or disappointment.

If you are frustrated that more students didn’t show up, do not communicate that to the student who did. Not with your words, attitude, or your body language. I know this is difficult, especially in the moment when we are discouraged. Instead, be intentional to communicate your excitement that the student who is there showed up.

Tips for the One Person in Small Group

Now that we have discussed what not to do, how do you fill that time? Here’s what I have found to work really well with only one student during small group time:

1. Ask questions.

This is a unique opportunity to really get to know this student and ask them questions about their own life! And because they are not in front of their friends, they might actually feel safer to share more information with you that they wouldn’t usually share in group.

2. Reimagine what “small group time” looks like.

This one requires an open mind! Because your designated small group time is probably not going to look like it would if you had a group of five students there. I’m actually confident that it should not!

3. Do something else.

If having a conversation with your one student feels awkward or forced (or silent), shift to doing something else together instead. Ask them to show you their favorite YouTube video and watch it together. Or play a game together (Checkers, Connect the Dots, or Guess Who are easy options for two people!). You could even see if you and your student can serve together by helping clean up from youth group until your small group time ends!

Be Flexible

When it comes to leading only one student, there is one experience that sticks out as a reminder of how important it is to be flexible. I remember I was leading a small group of sixth grade girls, and we had just one girl show up to our group . . . during the sex and relationships series. The first thing this student said to me after the message was, “I am WAYYYYYY too young to be talking about this stuff!”

As her small group leader, that helped me understand that the questions on my Small Group Leader Guide weren’t exactly what this specific student needed to talk about this week. So instead, we shifted gears a bit! I started off by asking her about her week. Then, I asked her what she thought of the message (besides being WAYYYYY too young to be talking about it!). She shared about not being interested in dating right now and clearly wanted all conversation about dating to be over. It felt natural to talk about what she did want to focus on throughout the rest of her sixth grade year and what she was looking forward to in seventh grade. I actually learned a lot about her that I didn’t know before this conversation! I learned that she sings and that she wants to be an actress!

It’s okay to switch things up

Had I stuck to the Small Group Leader Guide, I probably would have made her feel more awkward than she already did. And, I would have missed a huge opportunity to learn more about where she is right now and the goals she is currently working toward.

I’m not saying to totally ditch the content of the message you’ve just listened to or throw out your discussion questions altogether because the content is important. We want students to hear a message and then be able to process that truth they’ve heard with a safe group of people. And for some students, they might want to talk through the discussion questions, even if they are the only student there. But in some cases, it’s important to be flexible. You know your students better than anyone else in your ministry. So, lean into what you know about them, let the conversations happen naturally, and roll with whatever your small group time needs to look like with that student.

The truth is you can’t control who comes to group, but you can control what you do with every conversation. When you are intentional about how you spend the time when one person shows up, you may be surprised at the relational equity you are able to build for future conversations and how that conversation impacts your student.

The post What To Do When Only One Student Shows Up to Small Group  appeared first on Think Orange.

This got me wondering, how do you handle prayer in your ministry environments when someone is new?

Especially when it’s a small group setting and time to close, open, or share in prayer requests. Would a new person visiting your ministry environment for the first time even know what a prayer request is? How do you teach about this important spiritual practice without making it weird?

Introducing prayer to new students who may not feel comfortable with it (yet)

Sometimes we just have to normalize the awkward, give a play-by-play, and give permission for students to jump in or sit out. Here are three tips to help manage prayer with new students:

1. Over explain

Think about the last time you had an annual physical. Or not. It’s usually awkward. It’s personal. If you have a great doctor, you always know exactly what is going to happen. A doctor explains everything about what they are doing, examining, or checking for. There are no surprises (well, unless something surprising happens). That’s why we must give first-time guests a heads up. We need to give a play-by-play. For example, “We are going to close in prayer. I will pray for us, and whoever else wants to can, too. But if you don’t want to, that’s okay. After there is a long silence, I will close us out.” Knowing precisely what is happening is disarming and helps anxious students to relax.

2. No, you don’t have to pray out loud. 

If 75% of people rank public speaking as their number one fear, you can accurately guess public praying would be even more terrifying for new students. Take this fear off the table by not forcing anyone to pray out loud. The more you model praying out loud and for your students, the more comfortable they will be doing so too. Putting them on the spot to pray aloud isn’t usually a great way to help a new student feel comfortable in your ministry environment.

3. Did I mention you don’t have to pray out loud? 

There are many creative ways to normalize and teach about prayer with students.

Texting

When students share a concern or problem with you over text or social media, text or DM them back a quick prayer instead of the generic (insert praying hands emoji here). Something as simple as “Dear Jesus, I lift up this student and ask that you help them through this today. Give them your peace, comfort, and wisdom to know what to do. Amen.” By doing this, you help make prayer an everyday thing and not just a Sunday thing.

Ask

Ask your small group to share their thoughts about prayer and how they incorporate it into their lives. Often, they are the best ones to teach their peers about this spiritual practice.

Then share your prayer practices with them. You can invite them to try one with you too! Check out this breath prayer as an example. Breathe is a great way to calm down when you are upset, triggered, or just need a minute. You pray as you breathe!

What You Say During Breathe Prayer:

Today we are just going to breath in as I say, “Thank You God.”

Then, we will let our breathe go as I say, “You’ve got this God.”

Write

Show students how to write prayers. You can use journals, the note section of their phones, post-it notes, 3×5 cards, etc. I love handing out 3×5 cards to my small group. I tell everyone to write their name on a card and one thing they are struggling with and one thing they are celebrating. Sometimes I give concrete examples if they seem stuck. Everyone exchanges cards, and I encourage everyone to pray for the person on their card this week. Or at the very least, text or DM them to check-in and see how they are doing.

Teach

It’s hard to pray if you don’t know how or the point of it.

Teach about this spiritual practice in your ministry environments in a way that doesn’t assume everyone is familiar with the concept or even knows how.

If you want to help your students and guests learn more about prayer and how to practice it in their own life, check out our daily devotionals about prayer for middle school students and high school students on the Youversion Bible App. You can also check out our Faith Skills Experience Kit which is a devotional strategy to help your students practice the four faith skills essential to developing an everyday faith. Each kit includes guided devotional experiences with strategic activities, so your teenagers can learn how to HEAR from God, Pray to God, Talk about God, and Live for God.

The post How to Manage Prayer with New Students appeared first on Think Orange.

What are the things that everyone should have regardless of race, nationality, gender, or even faith belief, sexual orientation, or political affiliation? 

God says each of us is designed to love and be loved. We desire to live our lives free of the fear of being victimized by people or systems that treat someone poorly or make someone feel inferior to others. We want to be treated justly, or fairly, in an unjust world. 

As Small Group Leaders of students, you have the privilege of a front-row seat to your students’ lives when they encounter the realities that the world doesn’t always operate according to this standard. Your students may experience accusations of a crime because of their skin color or may witness someone not having an opportunity because of their gender. They will realize that public education isn’t entirely free and resources in different parts of the world, the country, or even their city are not allocated fairly. The way we respond as leaders can help determine how students continue to view the Church as an extension of God’s love for them and for others.

Follow Up To Communicate Care

The follow-up in a student’s life is an essential action we can take when we find out a student has become victimized by or made aware of an act of injustice. We might be tempted to let the uncomfortable moment pass and avoid an awkward conversation, but when we ignore the issues our students face, we are inadvertently ignoring them. When we follow up with our students, it shows their feelings are worthy of our attention. The follow-up shows our students that we think about them beyond Sunday and that we carry their concerns with us. Following up with their hurt communicates we are concerned about their heart and can provide hope to their story.

Listen More Than You Talk 

During the follow-up, listen more than you talk. Even if you feel like you understand what they’ve experienced, remember you are there to offer an ear for them to be heard, a shoulder for them to cry on, and then wisdom for the next steps. Students can sometimes be circular or evasive while sharing a challenging experience, so this might take a while. Give them time to walk the labyrinth of their thoughts before leaning in with advice. Students often have a better pulse on their peer group than we do. If the injustice happened amongst individuals their age, they might be able to work through enough scenarios to develop solutions that will work with their peers. If the injustice happened at the hands of someone older than them, still give them time to process and listen for a moment to suggest the involvement of the necessary adults.

Validate Their Experience

While you’re listening, validate their experience. Depending on the gravity of the injustice, it can be tempting as an adult to want to discard challenging situations as a juvenile exaggeration, but aim to believe before you negate. Give your student the benefit of the doubt. If further investigation or action is required, get your leadership involved to help determine the next steps. If your student is dismissed, invalidating them might keep them from disclosing or dealing with injustice in the future. Being invalidated brings shame; validation fuels trust.

Mobilize Them To Make Change

Injustice is never made right through passivity, so mobilize them to initiate change in the situation. Affirm that God doesn’t waste our experiences by asking, “if God allowed you to see it, what could God want to reveal to you through it?” God has also given each of us unique gifts and interests. Encourage your student to use their skills, talents, and influence to love themselves and other people well. When they are victimized by injustice and can recognize it, loving themselves well might look like seeking the resources and help to overcome it, eradicate it, and begin to heal from it. If they witness an injustice, using their talents and gifts might look like gathering a group of people to help support and amplify the voice of the victim. Whatever the action looks like, we are called to “do justice.” We are called to act opposite of anything that devalues another person.

There may also be times a student faces a situation that makes them feel helpless about how to initiate change. They are enduring unfair circumstances that feel larger than them, and they don’t see a way out. It is vital then, to reassure them, they are not held responsible for what they are experiencing, but more importantly, that they are not alone. Commit to standing with them. Commit to being a safe place they can continue to confide in and continue to follow up. Determine in your heart as their leader to make following up a priority with patience, compassion, and consistency. 

Continue The Conversation With Consistent Follow Up

One thing to remember about following up with students is the importance of continuing the follow-up. Consistency is pivotal in the life of every student—no matter their age. When we show consistency, it builds the type of trust needed for students to continue confiding in us as a staple in their lives. It is even helpful to involve parents and our Ministry Leaders, depending on the nature of the situation. The more we show our investment into our students’ lives, the more trust is earned and the power of our presence is impactful. 

Small Groups create a unique opportunity to influence your few and empower them to use their internal faith to affect their or someone else’s external circumstances. Injustice is part of our world’s brokenness, but our hope in Jesus and healthy community gives our students the courage to overcome that brokenness and to play a role in healing it. When we encourage our students to talk about an injustice they see or experience, we can equip them to live out the faith we talk about each week.

The post How Small Group Leaders Can Help Students After They Encounter Injustice appeared first on Think Orange.

Our problems and obstacles didn’t disappear on January 1, and as much as we all wish it did, our anxiety didn’t disappear either.

It also didn’t disappear for our students.

Anxiety has not only not gone away for our students, it also seems to be evolving and trending in new and different ways—in part thanks to the pandemic we’re all still facing.

Start With Thoughts & Beliefs

And as our culture quickly shifts and changes, as adults it may feel increasingly difficult to relate to students’ new anxieties. But the good (and bad) news is that, although anxiety may look different, we can still empathize and help combat anxiety in our students in a similar way—whether you’re 24 or 74.

Regardless of how anxiety is evolving and trending, anxiety at its core is fear. And the greatest catalyst of fear? Our thoughts. Which is why thoughts can be a great place to start to help students navigate their anxiety. Seeking to understand a student’s thoughts and beliefs will give you a glimpse into the depth of their struggle. Now, students will rarely just offer this kind of depth—which is why you have to ask questions, be patient, and leave plenty of space in the conversation for them to process and open up. But given enough time, a student will lay down the façade and share some of what’s really going on in their minds.

Sitting In Student Anxiety

After a student shares some of the anxiety they’re facing, comes the toughest step: Sitting in it. At this point, you want to allow the anxiety and emotions attached to those thoughts to bubble up in the conversation. And we can do this without believing and feeding into the lies and thoughts our students are wrestling with. 

For example, you can empathize and sit with someone who is anxious about being judged by their peers without affirming the lies that tell them they are worthless or less than.

Of course, feeling is not fact. This is the logic and truth most of us want to rush to when talking with students in these moments. But we have to hold back. We can’t lead with this, because in order to start seeing and believing what’s true, all of us—students included—have to sift through the feelings first. Once a feeling is seen and heard, it can quiet down, which then allows logic and more rational thinking to come into play. But if we do these steps out of order, to our students, it’ll feel like they’re talking to someone in a different language. In other words, integrating rational thinking before feelings have a chance to be felt and heard tends to create an “in one ear, out the other” situation. No one benefits, and both you and the student will leave frustrated.

Offer Hope And Remind A Teenager Of Their Value  

Once you have listened to a student’s thoughts, sat in the feelings, and held back your logical reasoning, you finally get to reward your patience by giving hope to a student—which has a far higher probability now to not only be heard, but believed as well. In this moment, you get to remind a student that their value is not based on performance. Ever. In other words, their performance—or lack thereof—does not “save them” or “screw them.” No matter what, when they bomb a test, when a friend ditches them, when there’s a big family fight at home . . . it does not change how much God loves them or limit how He can redeem or use a piece of their story.

Now before you get too excited, let’s reset our expectations a bit. This approach to help students navigate anxiety might not be an all-in-one conversation. It might take several conversations before you really find out what a student is thinking. There might be a lot of “sitting in it” with a student before you can remind them of what’s true.

You’re Not There To Fix Them 

And while these might seem like steps to just “get through” for us, they can actually be the most powerful steps for students. When you’re with a student in the depth of their thoughts, lies, and fear, you are building trust that is difficult to build in any other way. And it proves to a student that you aren’t just there to fix them. You are there for them.

You’re there for them through any anxiety they experience—and through ups, downs, good times, bad times, and even pandemics. You’re there, walking with them, ready to remind them of who they are in Christ and how God loves them no matter what. You get to be the light God uses to show them that they aren’t alone, they are seen, and they are heard.

The post Sit, Don’t Fix, When Responding to Student Anxiety appeared first on Think Orange.

That group was actually one of the many reasons I fell in love with middle schoolers. I was fascinated with their motivation to do good in their school, in their community, and in the world. Their energy for it gave me energy for it. In short, their service was contagious!

We did countless service projects in that group. From toy drives for cancer patients and food drives for local food pantries to efforts dedicated to raise awareness for issues in the world like poverty, hunger, and inequality, these students were determined and dedicated to make a difference.

Was it a lot of work to mobilize this group to help others and better understand themselves? Absolutely! Empowering middle schoolers to lead and serve requires extra coaching, extra planning, and extra energy.

You have to stay ahead of them.

You have to teach them social skills before the experience.

You have to prepare the serving host for your students.

You have to educate the middle schoolers about why the need exists in the first place.

You have to anticipate what they will throw at each other (and tell them why throwing it would be a bad idea).

And you have to think through how to help them process the experience so it will actually help them grow.

This small group of student leaders signed up to serve together over a period of two years, and I believe with everything in me that these service opportunities changed them for the better. That’s why, even though it’s hard work, I have never stopped pursuing opportunities like this for middle schoolers.

Mobilize Middle Schoolers Through Small Groups

The middle school phase can be an interesting one when it comes to serving. Even though middle schoolers have a reputation for being incredibly self-absorbed (which they definitely can be at times), they also are extremely cause-driven. They want to make a difference in the world. They just need someone to show them how and give them an opportunity to try. They want the independence and trust of helping in a big way, but they often need help and guidance to get there. And maintaining that balance can require a lot of work on you, their leader!

That’s why it’s so great to get middle schoolers to serve as a group. If you’ve created a structure of small groups, you’ve got the perfect way to help your middle schoolers serve already built in to your ministry. Because middle schoolers love to do things in groups. It’s an, “If they are doing it, I am doing it,” mentality out there! If they’re going to be in it, they’re going to be in it together. So, your best bet to get them to serve is to give them the chance to do with the people they know best: their small group.

And bonus: You’ve got small group leaders already in place to facilitate and make it happen

It’s important to expose your groups to the needs in the church, in their community, and in the world. In your context, that may look like…

community service projects,

neighborhood service projects,

city service projects,

serving opportunities within the church building,

partnering with the schools,

partnering with a community organization,

serving within their own ministry,

domestic service opportunities,

or even international service opportunities.

Any of these can happen alongside their peers, their parents, or their small group leaders (once we get out of this global pandemic, of course.)

Mobilize Students With Serving Opportunities 

Middle schoolers need to see a world bigger than the world they are currently living in, and we as leaders get the chance to help them see (and experience) that. So, how can you mobilize your middle school small groups to serve together now?

Here are some things I have tried! 

• Find out things they are passionate about already. Do all the research and planning for them so it makes saying “YES” that much easier.
• Ask a small group of middle schoolers to be part of planning and implementing a part of your programming each week. 
• Find out if any of your students are involved in a service group at school or in an extracurricular club. Then, see if you can partner with them to serve.
• Encourage your small groups to plan, organize, and lead service projects on their own.
• Do the research and communication to gather all the necessary information needed to serve. Find out the details, the cost, the dress code, the call time, the parking, the paperwork, etc. Make it easy for people to serve by doing the grunt work ahead of time.
• Ask a small group to help you plan (and maybe even manage) your ministry’s social media account.
• Have a group organize and lead the first impression’s team.
• Meet with other departments inside the church building and ask where middle schoolers are welcome to serve (and ask what needs to happen for them to be able to serve in more places in the future!). Then, encourage middle schoolers to serve together as a small group in those specific areas.

Then, allow the small groups in your ministry to share their experiences publicly and celebrate what God is doing in and through them. There is something extremely powerful about a twelve-year-old standing in front of people (in person or virtually) wanting to raise awareness for a cause he or she is passionate about. It’s a chance for them to talk about a God how has moved them to serve in ways bigger than they might have imagined.

Mobilize Students With A Message

The truth is that serving changes people.

It authenticates faith.

It moves us toward each other.

And it moves us toward God.

Serving is part of a movement. It’s a bigger goal with a bigger purpose. And it’s a movement we want middle schoolers to join in together! 

That’s why our XP3 Middle School curriculum team created a two-week series for your middle schoolers called Movement. It’s designed to help middle schoolers see how serving others is a part of the movement that Jesus started thousands of years ago. It’s part of the movement the church has carried on for hundreds of years.

When students make the decision to do something good for other people, they’re making a decision to join the movement. To do something right now as middle schoolers that can make a difference not just in the lives of others, but in their lives as well.

To do something, big or small, that helps someone else.

To do something they may even be scared to do because they know it will make an impact.

And that all starts with making the decision to serve.

Of course, doing something you don’t have to do and doing something you’re scared to do can be just that: scary. That’s why mobilizing your middle schoolers to do something together with their small group might just be what makes all the difference for them.

One last thing: Check out the Faith Skills Experience Kit for this serving series. It is an interactive devotional experience that compliments the series and frames the service experience by giving questions and activities to help students process their serving experience.   

We can’t wait to hear the stories of how your middle schoolers serve together. We’d love for you to share them here: Orange Students: A Youth Ministry Community.

The post Mobilizing Your Middle School Small Groups to Serve appeared first on Think Orange.

Remember the excitement of the first day of school? The first day of college? Sometimes I feel that same excitement as I think about next year’s camp, next year’s retreat or whatever is happening next in my youth ministry. There is just something about a blank page and a clean slate that reminds me anything is possible. 

And, this year we may have the biggest re-start we’ve ever experienced in ministry. Fall of 2021 will be the first real back-to-school in a couple of years. Winter of 2021 will be the first time many of us can dream of having retreats or planning for camps again. There is so much opportunity to re-imagine what we do—which is good because we have a lot to reimagine. 

If the last year has taught us anything, it’s this: 

If we want teenagers to have a real, personal faith, then they must participate in their faith outside our programming.  

After all, programming isn’t guaranteed. We won’t always be with them, and if we want the generation entrusted to us to have a vibrant, personal faith after they leave our doors, we have to help them find an everyday faith while they’re with us. 

Going Beyond A Sunday Faith

As we’ve been dreaming about the future of the church, we keep coming back to this question:

How do we help middle schoolers and high schoolers develop an everyday faith?

An everyday faith apart from your weekly program or bible study.

A faith that doesn’t waver if basketball practice requires them to miss church, or if an after school job means they can’t make it to youth group, or if a global event means we can’t host programming at all.

How do we help middle schoolers and high schoolers move beyond the cosmetic faith practices that look good on Sunday into a deeper personal relationship with Jesus that affects their Monday?

I think we need a strategy. 

A plan to help teenagers own their own faith, 

A plan to help teenagers develop an everyday kind of faith that goes with them everywhere, into everything.

A faith that transforms their sense identity, belonging, and purpose—everyday.

And like any relationship, getting to know God takes intentionality, effort and time spent together. And while it doesn’t happen in a moment, here at Orange we think there are four specific skills (or maybe you call them spiritual habits) we can help our students develop in order for them to know God better and build an everyday faith of their own:  

1. Hear: Hearing from God through His Word
2. Pray: Talking to God
3. Talk: Talking with others about our faith
4. Live: Living in a way that honors God

Of course, you knew that already.

Chances are your own faith has grown by hearing, praying, talking and living for God.

So what’s the strategy to invite the next generation into the habits that have transformed our own everyday faith?  

Defining A Devotional Strategy

We’ve created a strategy and some new tools around these four faith skills to help your teenagers practice the skills essential to developing an everyday faith (even when they can’t attend your programming).

Here Are The Main Ingredients:

1. An Every Day Devotional

If you’re already a subscriber to XP3 Curriculum, you can find printable daily devos or invite your students to participate digitally using the YouVersion Bible App. No subscription? We’ve got you. These devos are also part of the Faith Skills Experience Kits available on the Orange Store. And, we have big news! We have upgraded the devotionals so at least one day each week is written by students (ages 11-19) around the world. Not only will students practice the faith skills daily, but they’ll also get to read devos through the eyes of peers from different contexts and cultures, which helps develop empathy and raise their EQ.

2. An Every Week Experience.

Like so many other skills, discipleship takes practice—and the best way to practice almost anything is together. That’s why we created the Faith Skills Experience Kit.  Each kit includes 12-weeks of guided devotional experiences with strategic activities so your teenagers can discover how to hear from God, pray to God, talk about God, and live for God, as well as the daily devotionals so they can practice those skills every day of the week. This weekly experience can happen with a small group of students, a large group of students, one-on-one, or even led by a student and was designed to work well in any context, whether you’re in a church, in the parking lot, meeting in a coffee shop or hanging out on Zoom. More on this in a moment!

3. An Every Year goal 

There will be moments every student needs to go deeper or  spend a little more time on a devotional habit with some guided practice. That’s why we want every student to practice with a devotional journal at least once per year (and maybe more!).  These student devotionals will help a teenager dive deeper into a specific topic and work great individually, as gifts, or as a practice with a mentor. 

Understanding The New Faith Skills Experience Kit from Orange

The Faith Skills Experience Kit contains everything you need for groups of students to practice their faith skills together each week and individually each day. 

As part of the Faith Skills Experience Kit, you’ll get leader and participant guides to lead students through weekly activities that can happen at a coffee shop, in a backyard, or at church. Then, printable and digital devotionals allow students to practice their faith skills at home each day. Download a sample of the kit for middle school and high school.

What’s Included In The Faith Skill Experience Kit?

• 12 weeks of Devotional Experiences that include activities to exercise the Four Faith Skills (Hear, Live, Talk, Pray).  In Each Devotional Experiences You’ll Get…
  • Leader Preparation Material: This is what you’ll need to prepare to lead this experience. 
  • Leader Guides: This is your “lesson plan” for leading this experience. 
  • Participant Guides: This is any interactive journal page that participants will need to complete the activity. 
• 12 Weeks of Daily Devotionals available as printable weekly pages or as a digital devotional on the YouVersion Bible App. 
• Social Media Promotional Images to share about this experience on your social media channels.  

Try The Faith Skills Experience Kit Free

Get a 5-week sample of the Faith Skills Experience Kit, complete with daily devotionals and weekly devotional experiences to help students develop an everyday faith. 

 Who Is The Kit For?  

This reimagined version of the Expansion Pack is great for anyone who . . .

• Wants to launch a devotional strategy
• Hosts more than one weekly gathering for their students
• Leads students who want to lead their peers in a group study
• Provides additional small group time outside of regular programming

Does The Kit Work With XP3 Curriculum?  

Each devotional experience is designed so that it makes sense and can stand alone if a student doesn’t attend your weekly gathering or you don’t use our curriculum. But we also designed this devotional strategy to be most powerful when aligned with XP3 curriculum.  

How do I get started? 

As adults, we know the value of developing a daily devotional habit, but how do you convince your middle schoolers or high schoolers?

We developed a 5-week series for Middle Schoolers and a series for High Schoolers to help launch your devotional strategy with fresh energy and vision. Both series are called Habits. 

If you’re a curriculum partner, you already have access to the Habits series in your curriculum downloader. All you’ll need to add is the Faith Skills Experience Kit. 

If you don’t use XP3 curriculum, don’t sweat. We made something just for you! 

We created a Launch Kit that includes the new Faith Skills Experience Kit, PLUS our 5-Week curriculum series HABITS to kick off a devotional strategy. Check out the launch kit for middle school, and high school in the Orange Store today.  

Connecting The Dots To Create An Everyday Faith 

As an educator, one thing I know for sure is the most effective way to retain information, to move it from short-term to long-term memory, is to actually DO something to apply the information we learn.

That’s why so many of us have small groups already during our weekly programming. We want students to hear and then process and practice what they’re learning.  

But, can you imagine if that repetition happened more than one time each week? If your students were connecting with the same idea daily through devotionals that reinforcing and reminding them of the same truth they learned in your program? 

And THEN, what if they had an experience to help them actually practice the skills that are needed to apply that same truth they read about in their devotionals to their own lives? 

Whether you use XP3 curriculum for your program, the Faith Skills Experience Kit for your devotional strategy, or both working together—we hope you’ll help activate a faith in the next generation that moves from Sunday to everyday. A faith that will stand through crisis, pandemic, natural disaster, and whatever life throws their way.

I don’t know about you, but I get excited when I think about the future of the church with a generation full of middle schoolers and high schoolers who are pursuing a daily, personal faith of their own. 

And, as you plan your next year of ministry I’m praying that you and the teenagers in your ministry experience the most powerful kind of faith there is—an everyday faith.

The post Everyday Faith: A New Devotional Strategy For Students appeared first on Think Orange.